Monthly Archives: September 2017

crying

Growing up I thought crying was a bad thing, because it indicated grief or hurt. And it usually does. And for most of my life it usually was the reason to cry.

I also thought crying was for babies. Did I cry much as a teenager? I don’t remember, but I do remember being angsty and frustrated. If I knew why I was so angsty and frustrated I think I would have cried. Because it usually was because of a grief or hurt.

Now I’ve learned that crying isn’t always a bad thing. Crying can be a healing force, a release of the grief and pain, not an indicator of carrying pain. Crying can be the balm to finally close up that wound that time didn’t heal. Crying can be a sign of maturity.

Context is always the key for anything, including crying. When you’re young you may not understand context, but as an adult the hope is to grow emotionally and understand context properly.

On a related note, I recently read the script for this old classic movie, Kramer Vs. Kramer. While reading it I wanted to cry at certain scenes, and I bet if I watched the movie I would cry a lot.

poor character

It was the afternoon/evening rush hour. A line of cars waiting at a short signal. This street is always packed during this time. As I walked by, I heard one car honking a very long honk. It’s when you hold your hand down on the horn and not let up. It’s shorthand for extremely angry/agitated.

I wondered who could be so angry (or possibly deaf or dead at the wheel) when there was simply a line of cars and I saw no accidents or anyone hurt anywhere. Where was that honk coming from?

An elderly lady in her silver car.

Complete with handicap tag, she was waiting in line behind a red car with two younger women. She partially opened her door, pulled her cane out, and started banging on her door to get the red car’s attention. She also started yelling obscenities at them. I was amazed that an old lady could be so grumpy, so mean, so ugly. She wasn’t in an accident. I think maybe the red car pulled out in front of her in the line of cars inching toward the intersection.

The women in the red car were distressed. I didn’t want to stand around and watch this ugliness from the old lady. I felt sorry for her because I knew what it was like to get really mad for other people’s driving, especially in Los Angeles.

But that degree of ugly made me think of an episode of “The Mind of a Chef” where a NYC chef said it was hard for her to love people of poor character.

It’s easy to not love people of poor character. Not hard at all.

It does take a miracle to love people of poor character. And we need lots of those on a daily basis.

the fall

This week the weather was summery, with highs in the 80s. It’s already September. On Monday I was thinking how long until the weather changed and then the next day the highs were in the 70s. The weather has changed. The kind of change where in LA you can wear shorts or not. Wear a hoodie in the evening. Perhaps skip the flip-flops for socks and shoes. Et cetera.

For me, I’m wearing the shorts, tanks, and flip-flops as long as I can.

I also did some “fall cleaning” of my phone. I have years of photos and videos and backed them up to my computer and then deleted about half off the phone. I suddenly have many gigabytes to take more photos and videos without worrying about running out of storage or having the phone freeze up when there’s not enough free space. I felt cleaned, pruned, detoxed, indexed.

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Don’t forget that there are families who could still use some help, post-hurricane. Take a look at this post and donate. It will go toward helping them rebuild their lives.

 

Help these Hurricane Harvey families rebuild!

I’ve added more families who have lost homes, cars, and belongings from Hurricane Harvey. The amount of devastation is unbelievable. These are families I know personally or are friends of my friends. All real people, families with children and/or pets or single parents or single people. So many have lost everything.

You lose a lot in a flood, even when you put what you can upstairs (if you have a second floor): shoes, clothing, photos, rugs, furniture, cabinets, carpets, flooring, appliances, cars or trucks, etc. You name it, it probably got stinky sewage-contaminated flood water in it. If the item can’t be bleached, it’s gotta be tossed.

If you can donate even $5, which is the price of one Starbucks or one cheap meal, it will help entire families get back on their feet and have a normal life again. Five bucks doesn’t go a long way by itself, but a bunch of people giving five bucks will go a very long way.

1. This is Maria, who has four children with her husband. They lost everything. Maria’s relatives all live on the same street, and they lost everything too. Help them get back on their feet.

https://www.youcaring.com/mariagomez-934201

2. This is Jessica and David, who have three kids and three dogs. They didn’t lose everything because they had a two-story home, but they lost a lot, including David’s carpentry workshop. So their income is greatly affected due to the workshop damage. They also lost both of their cars due to flooding. Help all of them by donating here.

https://www.gofundme.com/hurricane-harvey-help-vass-family

3. This is Heari’s family. She takes care of her special needs brother and her diabetic father. They lost everything. And as a working schoolteacher and head of household, she needs your help. You can donate here.

https://www.youcaring.com/hearikam-934129

4. Jacob’s apartment was flooded with six feet of water. He doesn’t even know if he can go back to his place yet to salvage anything. He basically has to buy everything again and start from scratch. He may also have to relocate. Help him out here:

https://www.gofundme.com/rebuild-jacobs-home

5. The Chan’s house was flooded and they have already begun the repairs, but this single mom and daughter need help in the long run to pay for all the repair expenses. It’s not cheap and it would be nice to have walls again and to have furnishings again. All that stuff piled outside is flood damaged and has to be tossed. All that trash used to be their belongings less than two weeks ago. Donate to their fund here:

https://www.gofundme.com/hurricane-support-for-nan-narissa

6. This young couple has nothing left but their dogs, a few shirts, some jewelry, and a few photos. Everything else is gone. Can you imagine having no clothes, no car, no computer, no your-favorite-thing, no kitchen, no anything except these few items? I can’t either! Help them get some sense of normalcy back:

https://www.youcaring.com/sebastianornsteinandkristinnaidysh-930881

7. And I have a friend in a northern suburb of Houston called Kingwood working directly with families for support. 100% of your donation will be used to directly help families. You can send PayPal donations to Cleaneatingmom1@gmail.com  

 

how to help Hurricane Harvey families

Many friends I personally know were affected by Hurricane Harvey, from getting a few inches (which still ruins a lot of things and requires stripping walls down to the studs), to over 9 feet, which ruins the entire first floor and parts of the second floor.

The emotional trauma is real, but the support from neighbors to strangers to celebrities has been the healing balm for a very deep wound. However, recovery is a long road and it’s going to take more than the immediate needs like food, shelter, and a shower to get back to a normal life. It’s going to take money.

I think it’s better to give donations to a family directly than to a non-profit organization. There are pros for nonprofits, but like any organization, there can be delays. And they may not be offering help beyond the immediate needs. The federal government may help with long-term needs but that always comes with red tape. Insurance: even more red tape and many did not have flood insurance because many areas were not considered flood-prone zones. That’s how bad it was; it wasn’t even considered cover-able by insurers.

So, if you want to help a family affected by Harvey, consider these two families. They are real people, real families with children who have to live through this. School hasn’t started yet because of the storm. It affects everything. Help by donating and you will know exactly who it goes to.

This is Maria, who has four children with her husband. They lost everything. Maria’s relatives all live on the same street, and they lost everything. Help them get back on their feet.

https://www.youcaring.com/mariagomez-934201

This is Jessica and David, who have three kids and three dogs. They didn’t lose everything because they had a two-story home, but they lost a lot, including David’s carpentry workshop. So their income is greatly affected due to the workshop damage. They also lost both of their cars due to flooding. Help all of them by donating here.

https://www.gofundme.com/hurricane-harvey-help-vass-family