I don’t go to Starbucks. I don’t drink coffee. I don’t drink tea except at home. I only go to Starbucks if others are going or if I am making a Craigslist sale.

But this past Christmas I got a Starbucks gift card and recently found myself needing to kill some time. And I was a little thirsty. I remembered my Starbucks card and then used it for a croissant, which wasn’t that good.

Then I remembered I had signed up for a Starbucks account a while ago (I totally forgot why) and found out I could enter my gift card into the app and pay for anything using my phone and not needing the physical card.

The next time I went to Starbucks was to kill some time and I was thirsty. So I got a Pellegrino and some juice to make a fizzy, watered-down juice. I paid with my app and I felt cool.

But I would still have no idea how to order a coffee there. Perhaps I never will.

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